often have i wondered to what extent your life is your own.....
is it your parents'?
can your friends lay their claims?
your relatives, where do they fit in??
and people you deem special, how about them??
for as long as i remember, i have always tried to maintain that wee bit of distance from everyone, because i never really wanted to give anyone the power to ever hurt me.....
my pain would then be sourced only to me, and somehow the helplessness would then be less......
and then i left home......
in the midst of strangers, and away from your family, you start looking for support systems......
people around you become family....
and trials and tribulations follow.....
now i get affected with what someone says or some other person does......
now i judge myself even more severely.......
things have changed, and how
the ice maiden, now has come home to warmer climes.......
and is left wondering whether the ice was all temporary in the first place............
its one of the rare moments when i even get to think nowadays...
its all such a whirlwind, a mad dash.....
earlier, i had the luxury of mulling over everything, including studies
now its always open and shut, and the portion's done..,...
i think that's what you mean by growing up
you get a chance to think in leisure,and decide, opinionate, conjecture and figure out......
nothing beats the wonderful feeling of that sense of realization dawning on you.....its thrilling!!
but once the world decides you're through with that process, it throws stuff at you at a speed that makes it all incomprehensible..........
now its usually reaction.....
and yes, i still dont get why i get to writing only when i feel overwhelmed with stuff around me
its almost like writing is my personal therapy,my expression is my shrink
hopefully, habits do and will change and there will be more coming up from the usually sunnier me.......
amen to that!